Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize