This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
