yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
