Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
