wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
