Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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