it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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