My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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