I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
