Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I pour the whiskey from now on
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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