Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
