You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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