SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize