that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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