love makes seman taste better
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
