every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
