paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
