Pregnant stripper...not hot.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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