If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
