I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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