mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
