I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
