dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
