I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
