I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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