Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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