i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
