Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
