Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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