Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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