did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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