Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
