I don't usually arrange sex via text message
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
