Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
