I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
