They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
