Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
