well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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