I want to stick my p in your. b.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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