How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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