He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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