dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
