im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize