ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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