Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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