So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
