I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
