you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
