worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
