RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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