What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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