The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
