2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
