I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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