"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
