see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
