And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
