No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
