You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
