no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
