the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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